TWO OH ONE THREE

It isn’t easy looking back on 2013. Especially when I see in my mind all the things that I miss, and all the shit I’ve been into and… you get the picture. I don’t usually tell all here because I’d like to keep this space free from negativity. I swore that the old days when the world aka the internet has to bear all the shit. I have Twitter for that though. It all boils down to this – the year it was was pretty awesome and gruesome all at the same time.

It was gruesome. I wouldn’t want to look back, but I guess it would help me if I do.

Early 2013, I really thought I could still save my friendship with some people. Then I realized, it was fake all along. It hurt me, especially when they decided they don’t need to know my side of the story. It was doomed and null from the start and I was just too naive to see it. True enough, I wasn’t young anymore, but still naive.

Then there was him, who I still honestly love no matter what, I can’t explain it even though we weren’t really together, but it was also a ticking bomb. I’d like to believe that he was sincere, but I couldn’t believe that after all those times I stood up for him, he still wouldn’t hear me out.

The spiralling down of some of my relationships also cascaded into some parts of my life. I destroyed myself and alongside some branches. I was distrusting. I escape most of the time. I didn’t want to face any of it. I’d take anyone who would take me to the beach or anywhere remote just to feel disconnected with all the feelings that I harbour all the time.

It was difficult, paired with the nagging feeling, of wanting to find my true self. From the jobs that I do, to my daily trivialities, to unbelievably high skyscraper dreams. Everything shifted. And nothing was going my way.

Existential pangs that hail from way back college haunted me. I asked a lot of times why I am doing such things – of hurting myself and eventually those who are around me. It was difficult. I was an adult trying to adult things with teenage bullcrap.

But despite all this, I was massively surprised that I got to stick with my goals, anyhow. I was so focused on the negative that I didn’t even see the good things I’ve done. I was being hard on myself – to achieve this and that. As with how we are with other people, I learned that we have to be forgiving with ourselves.

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I met a lot of people this year. It was a diverse group – I didn’t even mind who they are or what they do; some of the things that matter to me back then. Diversity. I am not in a place to choose, anyway. They brought plenty of new experiences, that are pretty much what I would remember 2013 for. Mended a broken heart, escaped a self-destructive state, hopped from one job to another (one that I am not particularly proud of, but hey it’s a process of finding what you really love to do, or at least tolerate for some dough.) Moved out from the ‘rents and paid actual rent. Found and formed a lot of new relationships (platonic, that is) with people I never knew I’d get along with. Went to a lot of places — alone and with people I love.

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I got to know myself more in 2013 – what I want, how I feel, and where I want to be.

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It ended with a new job, where I felt I could stay (let’s see!) I’m in a better position, financially. Even learned how to manage. In every bit, it’s the first year, I don’t feel so lost, and obscure, and confused. It’s a welcome feeling of certainty. I couldn’t ask for more, because honestly after all the shit 2013 brought me, I appreciate that there are people who still believed in me, and stuck with me.

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And I thought, hey. All in a year’s worth. Of pains, of successes. Of escapes, of confrontations. Of hatred, of love. Of life.

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I am so ready for another bout. With all the love and energy that I get from people I care about. With a loving family who support me.

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Of a person with renewed strength, emerging from the ashes of doubt.

‘Wag mag-hold on para walang i-let go’

There is a new year message sitting in my drafts. I intend to finish it today but internet happened and Thysz tagged me on Tales from the Friend Zone (TFTFZ) Zero and seems fitting to be a pre-new year message. It’s trivial if you watch it at first but Ramon Bautista dropped some seriously heavy lines… that did not go unnoticed.

Tales from the Friend Zone Zero is the prequel to Ramon Bautista’s and RA Rivera’s internet series of the same name. In the show, the two internet personalities tackles the phenomena called “friend zone” and puts out advice for people stuck in the dreaded zone. They claim that the series is (loosely) based on their own personal experiences, as their Facebook photo says. Ever since the show launched, their series got traction and is now a household name for people apparently stuck in romantic limbo.

One line for 2014: Let’s enjoy the ride, shall we?

Look forward

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I look forward to experiences. As I ride this plane tonight, I’m bringing all the uncertainties this year, or in a larger plane, my life, has brought me and leave it above the air. And as I land in a foreign land, as I anticipate to see a scarred kingdom of wonder and smiles – I will remember that my adversities are the least this world has to care about, that it has bigger problems, and it’s dying like any mortal walking the face of earth – and so should I. I expect to learn that no matter how life tosses and turns me, I’d be me and all these makes me human – even though I’m the least human that I know.

I look forward to memories – to making this the most memorable trip of my life so far. That before I turn quarter, I did this, and I would not regret anything – even if I almost regret half of my adult life so far. Decisions to be made need to wait for me make memories in a land where I know no one, where I am like a kid wandering the streets for the very first time. And this, I give to myself. ‘Cause I think I deserve this in a not selfish way, but in a self-loving way.

I look forward to fall in love. To scrape any callousness my heart has delved into. To breathe inside me love and hopefully to breathe it out and inspire and be inspired. With love, we inspire and to live, is to love. To become more than carnal, but to reach a certain point of demi-spiritual actualization. To tell myself that to love is to give way. To love is to be in peace and be one with the inner that I often neglected. To nurture what I have and to realise that these all I neglected.

I look forward to have fun. ‘Cause frankly after all these feels transpired, there’s nothing left to do.

But to have fun.

Lately: #TheBetterCloset, Muni x Moonleaf collab, Chicken Charlie x Tegan and Sara and more updates!

Work has consumed my time, and I’m really humbled to be working with some of the youngest blood, but the most innovative ones! Collaboration is the heart of this business, indeed!

Last Saturday, we launched the Muni x Moonleaf 2014 Planner at Moonleaf Maginhawa, and also ran a relief drive x ukay via #TheBetterCloset! People came to view the latest addition to our planner series PLUS shopped pre-loved stuff and donated to Yolanda/Haiyan victims. We accumulated more than PhP 50,000 that goes to those victims. It’s little as compared to what others gave, but it’s every bit of everyone who participated with us <3 // Also we have been working on the planner, we all hope that everyone will appreciate it! It’s Muni x Moonleaf x 12 local artists!

Over at Chicken Charlie, we are collaborating with the organisers of Tegan and Sara concert here in the Philippines. That’s on Monday! And we’re happy that they’re running their own relief drive on the day of their concerts. This awful incident of nature, didn’t break us as a nation wholly (thank God!) but instead brought us global sisters and brothers together.

I’m also working with a client that is opening her own local boutique cafe and it’s dedicated to our local artists! It will be in Makati (I’ll keep shush about its location for now) and you better look out for it! I’m sooooo excited with this!

And I’m entering a very wildcard phase of my life, with freelancing and all that. And would you believe that I’m also an English and Literature tutor at this local student center? I will really miss my students once I need to move on to a full time job again. That sketch is from one sweet student of mine. Okay, that’s a digression but I feel that I should write that down.

So I guess, I’m going on with my wildcard something for now. I’ll see you all back here again, okay?

ALSO: I’m very excited because next week, I’ll be on a plane to Bangkok already! C’mon, it’s time for some temple run (and shopping and food and afam (oops) and yeah many more)

*definitely feeling excited!*

When working means marrying your gadget (or iDevice for that matter)

Whew, that was a long title.

So you guys know that I had to give up my iPhone for warranty and how it was a nightmare. I got it a month after anyway, and as I type, I am waiting for it to update my apps. Oh new game gone free!!! *exhibits attention deficit*


I cried hard

Ever since I started blogging, my phone will always be the most important part of my daily life. I started blogging when I was in fourth year college. While I primarily used it to back stab my lousy professors (some of them, my classmates would attest) through Twitter and then-BBM, aside from blogging on the side; when I started work in social media, it proved its worth doubly when I got to work with the freedom of choice as to when and where. I wouldn’t try my hand in freelancing, if it hadn’t been the case. I can still remember that time when I went to the beach in a work day and it was just the best explanation why you need your gadget working for you.



BEST WORKPLACE EVER

Or maybe when I need to go out of the country, whether for leisure or work, it’s always handy to have your ever-so-reliable smartphone to be working for you. It’s easy to access your files, reach your contacts, find your way through a city, scour what’s hot or not, or simply see who’s around (ehem, Grindr, ehem.) It’d be simple as from posting a selfie, or sending super important documents — everything’s easy. Everything happens in a click nowadays, and having this beloved (and well-taken-care-of, I suppose) gadget lost, damaged, whether by acts of God or your careless self, is just a massive liability.

Enjoy your trips more when you have your gagdets work wonders for you!

Honestly, waiting for one month for warranty is strenuous. Managing my finances is one trick in life I have yet to learn, so I didn’t have enough money to buy ANOTHER expensive smartphone (that does everything for me btw, plus I didn’t buy it lol) It’ll be senseless too, if it can be replaced by warranty anyway. As the doctors say, prevention is better than cure.

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Hollywood diva Jennifer Lopez and Victoria’s Secret Angel turned Project Runway host Heidi Klum thought it wise to protect their physical assets. Heidi Klum’s legs are insured for $2.2 million, while J.Lo’s famous derrière is worth a staggering $27 million. Not to mention, A LOT of insurance programs for a lot of other aspects in our lives – like retirement, health, property, automobile, among others. You just have to be sure.

For a lot of people, acquiring an insurance program to protect things that matter most to them can help ease worries away. And with the degree of attachment people are now giving their mobile phones, it makes great sense for mobile phone users to start considering insuring their handsets as well.

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And believe me, I have thought of this while my phone is in warranty! I mean, that’s policy already. Now if only I have a chance to override that policy with another. There’s nothing more than insurance to take your worry off. Phones nowadays (especially for those who buys the best for work) are an investment already — take an iDevice which does everything for you and your work for example.

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According to statistics, from over 500 serviced claims covered by telco giant Globe Telecom to date, 81% were due to theft; 48% of which happened in public vehicles or while commuting, 35% in public places such as malls, restaurants, and bars, and 17% in private places like at home, office, in a hotel room, and in private cars. And as Christmastime nears, expect these troubling numbers to increase.

So how can mobile phone users mitigate the high-cost of losing or breaking a prized mobile phone? Sign up for a comprehensive mobile phone insurance. Read more

I can’t believe I lived a life before Tyler Oakley

Another fanboy post. You’ve been warned.


So I found this while I was googling all things One Direction (god bless their very what-makes-them-beautiful souls) because I just can’t stop fanboying every single day after I came out as a Directioner. Tyler, baby, if you’re reading this, I am so sorry I used to be not proud I am Directioner. USED TO!

AND THEN I FOUND THIS. Oh my fucking god, is he HOT!

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So apparently, Tyler Oakley has lived in Youtube for 6 years already, and WHY DID I NOT NOTICE HIM EARLY? I know of his mate, Davey Wavey like ages ago, and I blogged about some of his beautiful projects – and then what, I didn’t get to find Tyler? WHAT A SAD SAD LIFE I HAVE LIVED.

He’s been living a dream, and he’s addicting. He’s the newest addition to my ever-growing list of obsessions. God knows, I’m willing to linger in this one. I don’t care if he’s gayer than me, or gayer than more than 50% of America. I DON’T CARE, I LOVE IT! Cue: Icona Pop please.

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He can make babies with Niall. ENOUGH REASON, DUH. Only if I can make babies with my ex too who looks like Louis. End of discussion.

And he’s just the cutest handsomest (!) gayest gay boy I am currently having a crush on. LIKE C’MON WHO WOULDN’T? Aside from he’s living a life I really envy, he’s smart, witty, and OH GOD HE USED TO WORK IN SOCIAL MEDIA. Pretty much like me, imho. I mean, whoever he is dating now, I have only the purest envy for you, girl. Have I said, he’s really hot in his own way? Fabulously hot. There.

Sorry but whenever people has to ship him with other Youtubers, I cannot. I ship him with me, okay?

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So Tyler, if you’re reading this, I am guessing you already received the postcard I sent you. I am wishing for the heavens and the earth to move so I can see you face to face. It’s better than seeing (all of) One Direction like face to face. Or maybe just of equal value. I don’t wanna be be-careful-what-you-wish-for-cause-you-might-just-get-it’d.

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By any chance, do you love him like I do? I LOVE HIM MORE, OKAY?

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http://youtube.com/user/tyleroakley
http://instagram.com/tyleroakley

Day 2 – An Apple Fanboy’s Nightmare

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If you’re following me on Twitter you’ll know that I switched phones because of a grave incident. Finn, my iPhone, has decided, or not ’cause I’ll be heartbroken if he actually decided on dying on me, to die on me. Refer to the image above. Look at it and find in yourself some compassion to be heart broken like me.

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I googled for a lot of websites to find some concrete explanation to this phenomena but to no avail. I rushed to the nearest Globe Business Center to claim warranty.

And I need to get a spare phone. If you know me well enough, you’ll know that I don’t have many phones. I can’t even have two phones at the same time. It’s an issue of attention span. I’m putting my money on something potentially life changing (haha, I’m exaggerating, but I really think it is) so I got this Huawei Ascend G510 at Plan Load Tipid (LTP) 300 from Globe. It was easy to acquire an extension line and it needed only a few hours to get my new phone. But…

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Courtesy of idownloadblog.com

Aside from missing the iOS7 launch bigtime, I’m not OS-ambidextrous. I’ve been using this phone for two days already, and I’m stumped at it. It took me less than a half-day to learn iOS but this is taking forever (in techie years). A nightmare indeed, if you ask me. I think I’m slashed by half in terms of productivity and quality of life. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a non-Apple snub and definitely not exaggerating, BUT if you count the amount of time I save when using iOS and how I’ve integrated its functionality to my work and personal life, you’ll understand. I’m on the brink of crying, and it’s 28 days more before I get my hands on my iPhone.

If you see me wandering the streets of Manila, scratching my head, I’m not lost. I just can’t use Android properly.

So I’m back

Hi there all! A quick update:

It’s been a bit busy at work but now I’m ready to say that I’m back. I’m also back from a emotional setback (yes, I’m admitting it is) and repercussions of college-days existential crises. I didn’t even know I’d live to experience another bout of that.

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But I’m back. Maybe still mulling over things about life. Maybe still naive, though no longer young. And maybe still finding myself in this world but hey, I’m back.

Whirlwind

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I may or may have not used the phrase it’s been a whirlwind of events in my previous entries but what can I do if it has been. Spare the thesaurus drama, and let’s get on with it.

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So I have new work. Aside from social media, I’m working on a couple of shows as a researcher. That, maybe, could explain my rather lesser-than-nothing entries here on my blog (I love you, blog, please don’t quit on me. You’re the only relationship I have right now.) TV is a bit different from the usual job I do, and I guess I’ll be vulnerable enough to say that I find it hard to adjust. I’ll surely pay this staying up late later at work, but my serotonin is not cooperating, idc anymore.

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So lately, I haven’t been going out. Less ganap because work seems to feed on my energy more than I want to. I’ve always based the quality of life I have on the things I do outside of work. For me, work should only be one part of your life, and that it shouldn’t define you, unless you want it to. I’ve always myself as a multi-faceted person. I’m a fan of growing on the numerous facets of life. Work for now will be my life as I adjust, I suppose. But I’m looking forward to be more than that again.

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Earlier, I met up with friends who I usually hang out with when I was still freelancing. Some of them are still freelancers, and some of them are now employed like me. And we all agreed, that at some point we kinda miss this kind of life we have — when we used to define the work hours that we have, and give no fuck in staying up late. A friend quoted it is career happening in our lives. And we agreed that it’s a good thing.

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I’ve also stopped, momentarily, my workout regime. I wanted to get fit but this new job I have is contesting for my limited energy. I’m mulling over taking vitamins, but I’m really not a fan of it. I’ll give it time this week for my body to recuperate from this first week blues, and maybe I can find a turn around. I need some kind of balance to this life if I’m doing this. I kinda miss the pool, and maybe some of them swimmers.

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I’ve seen that guy I’m crushing on last weekend, and I suppose I was caught off guard when I did. I was wishing to see him but I don’t know why there was mixed feelings. Ah, my complicated feelings towards people I like. This has to stop. Or maybe concretize is a better verb, since what I want is clarity and not just hanging on some proverbial string.

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It’s nice that for once in my life, I get to practice what I studied. Not wholly, but it was comfortable working on something familiar. Two years of working on new concepts and ideas, I guess, kinda gave me fatigue. I needed something new, and this albeit something familiar, feels so fresh.

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I can’t judge thoroughly though what I feel is peace or emptiness. There is a certain peace to me that I am growing, but there is emptiness that I may not want this as badly as I thought. I wish I was a less complicated person to start.

***

Life could be easier if we don’t invent our problems. Or if I could avoid run-on sentences like this. Or if I could sleep earlier like a normal human being. Or if my body could process alcohol without giving me the blush. I thank though that my lungs can smoke to my alveoli’s content.

Social Media and Journalism

Journ workshop 2013 - La VistaWith our students and hosts for our Journ workshop

So I have a group of friends, and we decided to make a production team and we were invited to hold a workshop about citizen journalism inside the La Vista Village. I feel very grateful for this chance to share the power of social media in aiding citizens to have a voice – a role in the society that was once exclusive. Now, we all have every right (obligation included) to be right on the watch. And it’s just the tip of the iceberg. I feel very humbled also to be teaming up with such great friends from the journ sphere. I really learned as well from them!

Now if you have an org (maybe village, school, or workplace) and you want to conduct a seminar about citizen journalism or even journalism per se, please don’t hesitate to contact us, and we’ll be more than happy to teach! You may contact me below at the comments section or email me at [email protected]

La Vista Village, you have been great! We hope you learned a lot from the workshop!

Photo from Leandro Lorenzo

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